21. Sydney. Female. This is where the truth comes out.

 

shitshilarious:

this is how you shut someone down. no swear words. nothing so extreme they can write it off. just something you KNOW they wont be able to shake off. It also helps to have a baritone-voiced plankton controlling your brain when you say it.


Legit wish I could say this … Instead I’ll curl my toes and continue to tell you, yep, next take. You got it!

shitshilarious:

this is how you shut someone down. no swear words. nothing so extreme they can write it off. just something you KNOW they wont be able to shake off. It also helps to have a baritone-voiced plankton controlling your brain when you say it.

Legit wish I could say this … Instead I’ll curl my toes and continue to tell you, yep, next take. You got it!

(Source: zhukini)

"But though Death searched for the third brother for many years, he was never able to find him. It was only when he had attained a great age that the youngest brother finally took off the Cloak of Invisibility and gave it to his son. And then he greeted Death as an old friend, and went with him gladly, and, equals, they departed this life.”

(Source: oblivates)

Trying to convince my girlfriend to dye her hair a bit blonder/more blonde then she normally does it PAINFUL.

If I’m not allowed to do anything with my hair … Woman, lemme project my feels onto you.
With love, of course.

the-study-of-wumbo:

stereolights:

It’s like his snoring got so bad that his wife left him and now he’s just forever alone with his extra-strength Breathe Right strips

maybe the strips were so effective that he inhaled his wife

the-study-of-wumbo:

stereolights:

It’s like his snoring got so bad that his wife left him and now he’s just forever alone with his extra-strength Breathe Right strips

maybe the strips were so effective that he inhaled his wife

austincarl1le:

do you ever get in one of those moods where you’re like feeling okay but you’re really sad at the same time and you just want to talk to someone and make them hug you but you feel annoying so you kind of just sit there being really sad